Summer Melancholy

    I heard country singer Paul Brandt talking about a song he wrote about how summer feels in Alberta. It really resonated with me and funnily enough, has taken away the pressure I feel to enjoy summer. I always have a vague, nagging feeling that I am not enjoying the sunshine enough or being summery enough because the season is so short. I agreed with what he said about "the pressures of summer because it's so short and winter is coming", or something close to that.
    I didn't realize how debilitating that little voice in the back of my head can be. Especially this summer, I don't really want to be forced to get outside and soak up the sun. I will enjoy some pool time with my youngest when she is home from camp and that will be enough. I still have so much to do at home here, and in truth, I hate being hot. My garden needs attention and that will come eventually, but not today. Today I give myself permission to do some inside stuff and be at peace. Yes, summer is short, but fall is actually my most favourite season and that is coming up. I am reminded that my heart tugs about the passing of seasons is a reminder that I was made for eternity and timelessness and that this is not home. What a relief! The pressure is reduced, knowing that I can use this melancholy to remind me of my longing for heaven and that passing seasons are good measuring sticks as my life is passing by.
    The Bible talks about our life as a breath and today, I am grateful for that. I will take each day as it comes. I will be grateful for my blessings and I will do what I can. People are most precious and I want space in my heart for them, not for a clean house and a perfect looking life! (And the ever present pressure to have a great summer tan!)  I can look out my window at the sunshine and rejoice and then, get on with whatever I need to do here inside. No guilt, no shame. I have had some wonderful summers with  lots of lake time and summer fun, but life seasons change and I can embrace all of them. Memories can bless us and bind us too and today, I choose to remember and release and keep moving ahead. I am not the same hopeless mess I was last summer, I am a new mess in a new place! Summer melancholy is a good phrase. It gives me a release from the pressure and a joy in today.
Just thinking.